Because I’m such an expert

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In the past few days I’ve received several messages from friends who can be counted among those cool enough to check out my bloggy blog. It’s really interesting because the gist of those messages has been “thanks for writing about your experience. I’m going through the exact same thing.” The funny thing is that I’m getting these from some of the very people who inspired me to do something more with my life. They always appeared to me to have it together and to be doing exactly what they want to do. I guess it’s a grass is always greener thing.. but I have to wonder: WTF is going on with all of us? Why are we so unsettled?

Sometimes I think the problem is that our generation has been given too many options. We’ve always been told we can do whatever we want. Between TV and the Internet we’re exposed to so many different things  it becomes hard to ferret out what truly interests us. I think, when we graduate high school, we also feel a lot of pressure to choose NOW. How can you possibly have enough life experience at that point to really know what direction you want your life to go in? I mean, some people do… and that’s fantastic. Some people always know and have the drive to go after it. But I think the majority of us change so much in our early 20’s that, by the time we hit 25, we feel like we’re entering the midlife crisis zone. It’s the awkward teenager phase all over again except, instead of not knowing what the hell our bodies are doing, we can’t figure out our own minds.

I’m starting to think this is the wrong way to look at it. This inability to settle shouldn’t be viewed as a crisis, it should be viewed as a gift. It’s not that we CAN’T settle. It’s that we AREN’T WILLING TO. And that can be a beautiful thing. It’s an opportunity to try different things and not feel guilty if they don’t work out. So what if you went to school for something and now you hate it? You tried something and it didn’t work out. SO WHAT? Don’t waste your time focusing on the failure, see it as an opportunity to grow and change. Just add it to the list of things you know you don’t want to do. It gets you one step closer to finding the thing that will bring you joy.

So, there’s my self help guru moment of the day. ‘Cause, you know, I’m totally in a place where I should be doling out advice (sarcasm people, SARCASM). Now I want to pose a couple of questions. What did you want to be when you were younger? What was that one thing that excited you, gave you that spark that you needed to get through the awfulness that is highschool? Did you give it up? Why? We may not have had the life experience at that age to choose the right career path, but we did have the time and innocence to follow our guts and dream.

I used to want to be a writer and a singer. Both faded out for me because I convinced myself that I wasn’t as good as I thought I was. Plus, you know, “those aren’t realistic career choices.” I didn’t do either for a very long time. This venture into blogging is the first writing I’ve done for myself in years. And you know what? It feels DAMN good.

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8 responses »

  1. I think it also has to do with the fact that you grow and change. I’ve always wanted to be an actress, like from the womb. As I grow and change though, so has my connection with acting, it has morphed into teaching, helping others, and watching performance change people’s life. So now I am moving towards that for people. Life is fluid and i love that.

  2. i love this post. i could say a million other things, but i just want to say, i love this post. YES! hah you’re inspiring me to start my own ramble on my own neglected blog….amazing.

  3. this is good. I’ve always wanted to be an artist. To just spend my days creating. A friend recently emailed me to ask what kind of work I’ve been doing lately. And I haven’t emailed him back yet. Why? mainly because I haven’t got a lot to tell him. There was the book I made for my son’s Kindergarten teacher. And the drawing I made for my kids. And the posters I made for my son’s birthday party. And my sketchbook is always missing. Then I realized I’ve got 3 little works of art running around my house (we’ve got tons of drawings on the walls to prove it) and every dime I make goes to them. Why not pour my energy into their lives and keep up the “dream” for them? I think we can pass our dreams on that way.

  4. There’s this book, “The Celestine Prophecy”, by James Redfield- the premise is a man on an adventure in Peru following mysterious transcripts called the insights. Each one has a different idea about why we are here, how we interact with others, how we eat, or how we WORK.
    The idea about working is that when we each fully live up to our potential there will be no one job to suit us. The future workforce will hold a few part time jobs, each nourishing some part of our being to make us happy on the whole.
    What is it about our culture that makes us feel we have to have one forty hour a week job for the rest of our lives? You are right. So I went to school and became a massage therapist. So what? I can be an artist, a mom, a wife, a friend and a massage therapist! Maybe I will go to art school like I should of in the first place. Thanks Jillian.

    • I love this! I don’t get why people keep it to themselves. We’re all going through it. You’re right.. society pressures us to have one full time “career”. We get stuck in the doldrums.. feeling like we’re imprisoned by our choices. This is what the whole SAHM thing is about too. Can a woman be a mother and still pursue her own interests and/or contribute to the family income? Hell yes! We can do it all and it doesn’t mean we have to sacrifice ourselves or our children in the process..

      • Yes!
        I work about 5-10 hours a week as a project manager, 16-20 hours a week as a business coach, and am a SAHM the other hours. While it can be confusing to have so many jobs, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

        I love being with my kids, and I love leaving my kids to work sometimes too! You really can have the best of both worlds. 🙂

  5. Your posts are wonderful. It’s exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. I thought it was just because I’ve been cooped up at home with Jules and/or losing my mind 🙂

    Keep writing!!!!!!

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